Praying to God and the Monster

A little boy hits his knees every night praying for his mom an dad not to fight ,so he won’t have to cry himself to sleep. Praying for God to just make the monsters go away. Constantly living in fear that one day they will turn their anger towards him.

He spends his days living in his own world Watching TV or playing with his toys while he hides in his toy box from the demons that he knows surrounds him. He sees their menacing smiles, recognizing the devouring hunger the demons have for him.

As he grows older he has moments in which he thought he could escape the claws of the monsters fighting for his soul. A moment finally arises for him to get away, or so he thought. He made a choice, a lesser of two evils so to speak,to live with only one of these demons.

He prays for God to help him fight the monster.  Thinking he has conquered one of them, he finds the demon that resided in his choice was stronger than the two together. His teenage years were full of fear and sleepless nights. Verbal abuse turns into physical suffering .

He finds that his worst fear has become reality. Still he prays for an exit strategy.

One day after years of living in his hellish existence, he finds himself confronted face to face with the demon he so longed to destroy. He fought diligently and thought with God’s help he had defeated it. Years pass by and life seemed good to him.

Then one day out with his friends he was introduced to drugs and alcohol.

To him it was the escape he so desperately had been searching for.

Believing that God had forsaken him he puts all his faith in this new prophet of destruction.  Countless years of praying to his new found messiah he notices himself denouncing God. This new false-god leads him to a place so dark and desolate. He finds himself surrounded by the same demons and monsters he battled with his entire childhood.

One last time he calls to God. Bargaining and begging for a new path of guidance, surrendering to God’s will for him to be finally be put on a solid track. God gracefully answers telling the young man;

“I have been waiting for you to realize I never left you. I only wanted you to realize the demons you have been battling and praying for escape from are inside of all of you.”

“Stop looking to the outside for the peace and freedom you are seeking.”

The path was given to the young man. He now walks it with resiliency and strength. Helping and encouraging those along the way to find what he has, hoping one day he will get his chance to join the kingdom of God and eternally live in peace. The man now lives free of his fears and suffering from a world so cold and so dark.

My story ,
Chaten

Chaten Nelson Recovery Blog

About the Author: I’m am in recovery from 22 years of research. I simply want to inspire and educate those drowning in the ocean of madness so as they just stand up to find the waters only waist deep.  I am 39 years old living in wild wonderful West Virginia.

Chaten is also a SoberWorx Advocate and is studying to become a chemical dependency counselor. Please visit his Facebook page by clicking here.